


Questions, Answers and Promises

by Calandraa



Category: Ghostbusters (Comics), Ghostbusters - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Depression, Egon is dense, Friendship, Hurt, Lost Love, Past Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-21
Updated: 2019-04-21
Packaged: 2020-01-23 14:33:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18551713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Calandraa/pseuds/Calandraa
Summary: Peter is having a bad day and deals with it in an unhealthy and self-destructive manner. Luckily not all the decisions he made in life were bad. Like that one time he hired a certain redhead as his secretary.Based on the IDW-verse of Ghostbusters. Not placed at a certain point of the timeline.„Ghostbusters" ©1984 Columbia Pictures, „Ghostbusters by IDW" ©2008 Sony/IDW





	Questions, Answers and Promises

**Author's Note:**

> I have been in an angsty mood lately and it did reflect in some of my stories. Like this one. But don’t worry, it does not end bad.

The golden liquid swirled when Peter panned his glass and the ghostbuster stared into the tiny tsunami as if there was a chance to find all the answers.

There was none.

Then again, what were the questions?

 

Why had Dana been at that party?

Why had he not asked her that?

Why had he not asked her to dance?

Why had he only talked about other women that night?

Why did Peter Venkman ruin everything remotely good in his life?

 

He chuckled. Yes, maybe these were good ones for a start. He kept swirling his drink with one hand while resting his head in the other to stare into the glass. Nope, no answers.

A knock on his office's door startled him and he looked up. The pretty redhead standing in the door cocked an eye brow at his posture and one look of that emerald green orbs behind her stylish glasses told him everything he needed to know about her opinion on his current condition.

“Janine!” He grinned. “What can I do for the most beautiful office manager in the world?”

Unimpressed by his weak attempt at flattery she stepped towards him and snatched the glass from his hand.

“First of all you could stop drinking on duty!” She answered with a dangerous tone in her voice.

“I'm not on duty m'lady!” He corrected, slightly slurring. “Egon is on standby, I'm just here because my apartment is not much better than this place...”

“So?” Janine was not having that. “You're here and first case, Egon will carry you along because trapped in Spengler-world he won't notice that you're drunk like a bunch of sailors. Next thing we know you are fighting a nasty class 5 in that state and get yourself killed!”

At the last words there was a light tremble in her words and for a second the anger glittering in her eyes was completely gone, pushed aside by worry and sorrow. Their gazes met and Peter did not need to ask to know that for that tiny moment her thoughts were back at the time when he had been in a coma.

Once more he tried joking: “Hey, we cannot blame that one on the whisky! If I had been out drinking instead of...” Her expression showed him that it did not help.

“Sorry!” He murmured and carefully took the glass from her hand, emptying it in the pot of a plant. At her admonishing look, he pointed at the plant and said: “Oh come one, poor thing never had a chance here anyway!”

Shaking her head she smiled and he returned it.

“Did you need something?” He wanted to know.

“Actually, I came here to ask you just that!” Janine adjusted her glasses, something she always did when she felt vulnerable and tried to hide it. “I was heading home and Egon is wrapped up in... whatever. So, I wondered...”

“I am good! Thanks! Have a nice evening!” Peter smiled, but when she turned around to leave, he called her back: “Janine?”

“Yes?”

“Am I a bad person?”

She raised her brows in surprise. Then she frowned and crossed her arms. Her head slightly tilted she asked: “Is that some sort of trick question, Dr. Venkman?”

“No” He laughed humorless. “I met Dana yesterday and it... had me thinking. All my relationships end sooner or later with a bang, but ours died silently – twice.”

“Well, she meant a lot to you, Peter!” Janine tried carefully. “Relationships like that we don't let end 'on a bang' because we don't want them to end. We don't insult or cheat or run away, we keep going until the road ends.”

“But I should know better, right?” The psychologist said with a tiny bitterness in his voice. “That ignoring problems don't make them go away. And still – two times – I let it happen.”

“Oh please!” Janine rolled her eyes. “No doctor of medicine is immune to the flu as no psychologist is immune to relationship failure.”

“But I know about...”

“I don't really have to tell YOU of all people that the labyrinth is much harder to beat from the inside than from above?”

For half a minute they both fell silent, Peter contemplating his secretary's words, Janine patiently waiting for her boss to resume the talk.

“I really cared for her, really liked her, really...” He finally spoke.

“You loved her, Peter!” Janine interrupted with a sigh. “It is not that hard. You loved her and she loved you!”

“Sounds like some good starting conditions, hmm?” Peter stated sadly. “And still I managed to mess it up!”

“And I tried, Janine! I really tried! The moment she kissed me, really kissed me as herself no longer possessed, I promised myself that I would do better. I would be more considerate, more open, more caring. What does that say about me?”

“What do you mean?“ She questioned.

“All the other women I managed to scare off? Well, I was being a selfish jerk and it does not speak for them that they stayed for longer than a week, but with Dana?” Peter started to get agitated now, the alcohol and the emotional turmoil taking their toll. “I tried to be the best person I can be and lost her! She gave me another chance and I lost her again! The best person I can be is still a stupid piece of shit, unworthy of love! Who could ever love...”

“Stop!” Janine yelled. There was a dangerous glint in her green eyes as she stepped into Peter's personal space. “Don't you ever say that again!”

“You think you know everything. You think you can predict everything. But newsflash, Dr. Venkman. You don't and you can't! And you can't control everything either!”

“I should at least be able to control myself.” He thundered back, glowering down at the petite redhead.

“True, but you were not the only factor. There was Dana, too.” Not one to be intimidated so easily Janine went on. “You know how much I like her, but she is no angel. She is stubborn and likes to be in control. Just like you. Two of that kind is an explosive mixture. To nobody's fault, mind you.”

“Maybe if I would have given up control a bit more...” Peter argued.

“That would not have changed the outside factors you faced.“ The redheaded secretary tenderly took his face in her small hands and sighed: “Nothing you could have done would have changed that.”

“Changed what?”

“Peter, when you met her, she was stalked, possessed and finally sexually abused by a god. I – luckily -never experienced that, but I think it is save to say that this weighs heavy on a soul. And she will forever connect this to you, even though that was not your fault, you even saved her from things getting worse.”

“When you reunited, another supernatural being had set his eyes on her, no, even worse: on her child! The third time it was Tiamat getting you two in the same room again. Again, not your fault! You and the guys saved her but still you were the common factor in her three most traumatizing experiences.”

“Of course” Peter whispered. “Her mind turns a coincidental concurrency into a causal relationship. Part of her blames me for all this because I was around. Why did I not...”

“Because you were IN the labyrnith, Dr. Venkman!” Janine smiled sadly, her hands now leaving his cheeks to be placed on his shoulders. “And I am sure all the journalists around you two did not help stabilize things between you two.”

“They didn't!” Peter confirmed seething. “But even from inside the labyrinth I noticed that!”

“Yeah, the flashlights aren't exactly subtle!”

Both chuckled and stayed like that, looking at each other. A long moment of companionable silence followed before Janine spoke again.

“Look, Peter, you are a man with many flaws!” She said tenderly. “I mean, many, many, many, many, many,...”

“Miss Melnitz, I thought I heard a 'but' there. However, I am no longer sure!” He interrupted with fake admonishment.

“Riiiiight, the 'but'!” She teased. “BUT lack of persistence is not one of them. You did not give up on your relationship with Dana, you did your best and failed, not because you are not lovable but because you cannot turn back time. So to answer your first question: No, you are not a bad person. You are a person. And there are certain things you cannot change. It sounds like a sappy 90s song – because it is – but sometimes love just ain't enough.”

“As you would know” He murmured and bit his lip immediately. “I'm sorry, Janine! I'm drunk and sad and angry. I didn't mean...”

“It's okay” she said softly. “It's... not exactly the same, but like you, there was not much I could have done differently. I really was in love with Egon, part of me probably still is, and I think he felt the same...”

“He did and does” Peter thought, but did not say. The dense Dr. Egon Spengler might never come around and there was no use in bringing her hopes up.

“But should I have pushed harder?” She pondered and then giggled: “Would that even have been possible? But there is a chance that he would not know I existed by now if I would have been more subtle. So you and me both did do nothing wrong in particular. Sometimes fate is just a bitch.”

Peter snorted at that last sentence: “You sure we shouldn't be drinking?”

“YES!”

“Just making sure...”

Finally Janine let go of him and wanted to leave. But at the last second she turned around and grabbed his hands. This time she did not meet his eyes when she addressed him.

“As for the question I never let you finish...Who could ever love you?” Carefully she lifted her gaze to look at him. “I can! I can and I do! I might not love you like I love Egon but I think I love you more than I love him. I definitely need you more than I need him.”

Peter's eyes had gone wide but even though he opened his mouth, he did not speak.

“I don't care what the company papers say, Dr. Venkman” Janine continued. “YOU are the leader of this team, you are MY leader. I need you. I know that I curse you for your jokes and puns on a mission, but fact is: I need them. I need your confidence. I need you to laugh in the face of evil warlocks and demons that want to take over the world.”

Her voice started to shake a bit and her lips trembled.

“So could you please, please, not hate yourself?” She asked quietly but with a trace of pleading. “If not for your own sake, then for mine? Because I am scared that you might give up and if you do, I might, too. And I...I really think we shouldn't...”

Now there followed a long moment of silence Peter was scared to break but could not bare for too long either.

“No, we shouldn't!” He finally agreed with her. “Let's make a deal: I hate myself less and I promise I will NEVER give up...”

“Sounds good.” She nodded, sniffing and chuckling at the same time.

“And in return you allow me to take you out once, no let's say twice a month.” He added. “Drinks, theater, drinks, restaurant, museum, drinks, cinema or maybe just a few drinks...”

“Deal!” Janine grinned. “But only if the drinks are on you!”

“Drinks! Great idea!” He returned her playful smirk. “All on me, of course.”

Again they fell silent.

“Thank you!” They suddenly spoke at the same time and laughed: “You are welcome!”

“Good night, Dr. Venkman!” The secretary finally bid her good bye and kissed him on the cheek before leaving. The echo of her heels sounded through the hall as well as an unanswered: “Good night, Egon!”. Then the door went and all fell silent.

Sighing Peter went up the stairs and visited Egon in his laboratory. As the psychologist had hoped there was still coffee in his friend's thermos that he stole without regret. Sipping the hot beverage he started to observe Egon, hunched over... something.

Slowly he stepped closer and asked: “Spengs?”

“Yes, Venkman?” The scientist gave back absentmindedly.

“Is that explosive?”

“No...”

“Good!”

With that Peter smacked the back of Egon's head, hard.

“Ouch, Venkman, wh...”

“You're an idiot, Spengs!” The psychologist stated matter-of-factly before strolling out of the laboratory with his coffee.

“That is completely uncalled f... Is that lipstick on your cheek, Venkman? Venkman?”

 

The End

 

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, it might happen. If Egon continues to be so... so Egon, I will stop shipping him with Janine and ship her with Peter. Let's see how he likes that!
> 
> As always I would love to hear your opinion and do not hesitate to tell me if you find little or big mistakes in the text.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
